How to Stop Worrying in a Few Simple Steps - Part I

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“You can’t change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future.”

If you are in the habit of worrying what you really need to do is get into a new habit. Change the habit of worrying sufficiently so that rather than robbing you of enjoyment of life it allows you to take constructive action about the event of concern. The real core of worrying is fear – you are afraid that you will not be able to meet the challenge that might be placed before you. You are afraid of the consequences of not meeting the challenge. Here we are going to discuss ways to help you prepare yourself to meet that challenge without the anxiety and fear that comes with worry.

Step 1 – Be aware of the worrying

The very first step is to become alert to when you are actually worrying. Some of us are such chronic worriers that we spend most of our waking moments (and some of our sleeping ones) worrying. Worrying might be happening in an almost unconscious manner. A very important turning point is to sit up and recognize those moments when you are engaging in the mental activity of worrying. This is critical because as you go down the steps you will realize that you need to analyse the thoughts you are having at these moments.

Step 2 – Write down what you are worried about

Once you identify the situation that you are worried about, write it down – in detail. Write down the situation, write down your thoughts and write down the worst-case scenarios that fear happening.

Worrying Example

Situation: I have to make a presentation to the company big-wigs next week Monday.

Worst-case Scenarios:

I might completely forget the words.

My laptop might fail or my power point presentation might be corrupted in some way.

I might be so nervous that I fumble and stutter and sweat.

Thoughts:

I just can’t do this because I am not good enough.

I must be really stupid to be so nervous.

They will hate me.

I might lose my job.

Step 3 – Evaluate each worst-case scenario

The next step is to evaluate the worst-case scenarios you are worried about and brainstorm how you could handle each. Take each scenario one by one – on paper and write out how you could deal with it if it were to happen.

Scenario I: I might completely forget the words.
Plan for successfully dealing with it: Practice the presentation repeatedly so that the words are almost automatic. Make some cue cards to remind you of the next topic. Write out a speech so that if all else fails you can read it out.

Scenario II: Electronic loss of your laptop or digital presentation.
Plan for successfully dealing with it: If you laptop fails then you need to have an alternate laptop available – make arrangements to line one up. Similarly, to head off a file corruption, make sure that you have your presentation file stored on your laptop as well as a backup location such as a jump drive or a network drive.

Scenario III: Nervousness
Plan for successfully dealing with it: Practice giving the whole presentation in front of the mirror, then in front of family, then in front of friends and then in front of strangers if you can arrange it. This extra preparation will assist with reducing nerves. Also make a plan of action for if you start to get nervous – you could excuse yourself and go to the washroom and compose yourself by taking a few deep breaths. You could plan to think of a calming image. It may also help to ensure that you arrive extra early to familiarize yourself with the environment and your technical set up.

Having a plan for dealing with your worst-case worry scenario helps you to realize that even in the unlikely event that it does happen you will be prepared to successfully cope with it.

Putting your worst-case worry scenario into life perspective

It is also critically important to realize that although you might feel uncomfortable or even distressed if your worst-case scenario happens, those feelings will pass and you will move on. You will not just survive it but you will thrive again after. If you don’t believe me think back to some terrible incident that happened in your past – it may have been very upsetting at the time but you moved past it. And should your worst worry-related fears be realized here, you will also move past it back to an enjoyable life.

Steps 4 & 5 will be continued in tomorrow’s article How to Stop Worrying in a Few Simple Steps - Part II.

“Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago? How did they work out? Didn’t you waste a lot of fruitless energy on account of most of them? Didn’t most of them turn out all right after all?” ~ Dale Carnegie.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007 at 11:39 am and is filed under A New Start, Choices, Depression, Optimism and Positive Thinking, Self Discipline . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.