How to Stop Worrying and Be Relaxed – Over-planning
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.“People gather bundles of sticks to build bridges they never cross.”
“It only seems as if you are doing something when you’re worrying.” ~ Lucy Maud Montgomery.
One of the things I have realised in the last week of this experiment to stop worrying and be relaxed is that one facet of worrying actually masquerades as planning. In an attempt to exercise maximum control over his world, the worrier tries to anticipate every possible occurrence and plan for it – in minute detail.
The chronic worrier even overplans for something as mundane as the commute. She will plan not just what alternate routes she can take depending on where she might meet traffic, but she will plan right down to which lane she will drive in and under what conditions she will change lanes. Obviously, planning on such a microscopic level consumes much time and mental effort – 90% of which is completely wasted, as only 10% of the anticipated events actually occur.
What makes this kind of planning inappropriate is that it is constant. It is not a plan that is mapped out at the onset of the journey and occasionally updated if warranted. It is a plan that is constantly being revised from moment to moment. The entire journey is spent deliberating the next move.
Planning on such a scale is little more than grandiose worrying and saps the mental strength. It definitely makes it impossible to be present in the present which is one of the goals of this quit-worrying experiment. One cannot be experiencing the present if one is constantly planning for the next moment.
As stated in the first article, one must allow oneself to deal with the situation as it arises rather than constantly be trying to anticipate and plan for every possibility. The worrier must trust that he is capable of handling most situations successfully, even without a detailed plan.Â
Constantly planning for the future moments leaves no time to enjoy the actual present moment (which one spent the past moment planning for). The chronic worrier must limit planning and be careful that planning does not become pedantic and obsessive.
The way to combat this kind of worrying is clearly to trust that one can respond to impromptu changes and spontaneous events without a plan. The worrier when he finds himself engaging in overplanning must remind himself of his ability to respond successfully ‘on the fly’, and support this by reference to occasions in the past when he did just that.
If you do find yourself engaging in overplanning, then each day discipline yourself to refrain from overplanning one ‘event’ – whether it be the commute, the trip to the dentist or the grocery shopping. Just force yourself to conduct that ‘event’ on the fly.
Overcome your fear of letting go and experience the freedom of just being and living without overplanning. And take careful note of the fact that the event was still successfully concluded even without your usual overplanning.
Some of your hurts you have cured,
And the sharpest you still have survived,
But what torments of grief you endured
From the evil which never arrived.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.
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Related Articles:
- How to Stop Worrying and Be Relaxed – An Experiment
- Slow down, stop rushing and enjoy your life
- How to become an Optimist - Part I
- How to be Happy - Training yourself to enjoy life
- The Power of Realistic Positive Thinking
- Your Capacity for Change
- Optimism vs. Pessimism
- Coping with Stress - Part I
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