Seeking out Mentors
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.“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.†~ Douglas Adams.
“Successful people turn everyone who can help them into sometime mentors!†~ John Crosby.
A mentor is defined as a wise and trusted counselor or teacher. A constant complaint heard today is that there is a dearth of positive role models. While this may be true it is also true that many of us are resistant to learning, to being taught.
Acknowledging our faults
In order to allow ourselves to learn from others, we must first accept that we do not have all the knowledge, that there are others smarter and wiser and more knowledgeable than us. In order to be mentored we must acknowledge our own ignorance on specific matters. We must humbly cede to those wiser than us.
In order to admit the need to learn, we must admit our own shortcomings to ourselves. We must admit that we are not perfect, that there is much we can still learn, and that others are more perfect than we are. The human ego by its very nature believes always that it is omniscient and always right. It is often threatened by those wiser than us.
Albert Einstein, considered one of the smartest men of our time, once said that true wisdom is knowing just how much you don’t know. If we can get beyond our own arrogance and accept the knowledge and the corrections that others offer us, we can tap into a free invaluable resource for self-improvement.
Get beyond pride
Pride can be useful. It often motivates us to accomplish tasks. However, it can also stand in the way of our progress. Pride keeps us from acknowledging our imperfections. Pride keeps us from admitting our ignorance and our errors. But reason knows that it is impossible for any one person to know everything there is to know so logic must dictate that we are ignorant in some areas. So we must use our logic to overcome our overactive sense of pride.
Accepting correction
The next time your boss or your mate or your friend or even your enemy criticizes you, look for the truth in the statement. After all, none of us are perfect yet (with the exception of my adorable little puppy). So look for the truth in the criticism. Use the criticism to improve yourself. Let these people be your mentors. They need not be perfect themselves in order to reflect onto you the areas in which you need to improve and the things you can do to facilitate that improvement.
If someone older, and wiser than you, someone who has been in your profession longer than you, been working at your hobby longer than you, been playing your sport longer than you – if that person offers you advice, take it to heart. Don’t grumble and wonder if the person thinks they are so marvelous and perfect that they can ‘pick on your flaws’. Be grateful that you are gaining the benefit of their experience. Appreciate their words – use it to improve yourself. Be wise and closely examine the advice offered by possible mentors. If it is relevant to you and to your success, implement it immediately.
Cultivate mentors
If you are trying to become better at one particular area, seek out the experts in that area. Seek out the people who have been working at it for many years and who have learnt the lessons from experience. Seek out someone who has already achieved the success you are hoping to achieve. Cultivate their friendship. Most people are flattered that you would consider them a mentor and are quite willing to share their knowledge and their advice with you (as long as you will not be a direct competitor). Most successful people recognize and respond to the genuine desire for success in others.
Learning from the success of others
If you find that there are currently no mentors in your immediate environment, choose your mentors from the wider society, from around the globe for that matter, from history. Whom do you admire? Nelson Mandela
Negative examples
Opportunitites for self-improvement occur everyday. We can learn from the experiences of those we admire. We can also learn from the behavior of those we do not admire. Use negative examples to remind yourself of the difference between the path to success and the path to failure. Someone you know who gives up to easily? Who starts a million projects with verve and passion but gives up shortly thereafter and so has achieved none of his goals? Someone who consistently tries to take shortcuts to success and avoid the straight route of persistence and hard work, yet never really seems to get ahead? Someone who gets angry when others offer him constructive criticism? Look around you and see who you don’t want to be and who you do want to be.
Use the negative examples and the mentors to help you tweak your own character and become more successful. So the next time someone criticizes you, be open to acknowledging it as an opportunity for self-improvement.
“Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.†~ Confucius.
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January 29th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
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