Optimism & Resilience
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.” Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” ~ Sir Winston Churchill.
Resilience is the ability to bounce back after a stressful event. It is the ability to know and act upon the knowledge that adversity is not final. Resilient people engage in accurate flexible thinking. Being resilient is the greatest benefit of optimism.
Optimistic thinking habits allow you to keep adversity in perspective. You do not engage in catastrophic thinking. You do not think that every little adversity hails the end of your world as you know it. Your thoughts are flexible and solution oriented. You use all the techniques we have discussed so far in the How to be an Optimist articles. Resilience is essentially engaging in flexible accurate thinking.
You think realistically and look for the most positive explanations for your adversity (in most cases). Resilience is one of the most beneficial characteristics of optimism and one of the most beneficial characteristics that you can inculcate in yourself and your children.
Resilience deeply affects how you view the world and the troubles you face. You believe that your troubles are temporary and there is always a solution. This enables you to move forward and look for the solution. You believe deep down inside that everything will work out. Even in the midst of the darkest day you know that the sun will shine again. You have hope.
Natural Resilience
Some people are naturally resilient. They are apparently born with this quality. They are born into the harshest of environments, and experience no end of troubles and traumas growing up. Yet, they go on to lead happy successful lives and are not plagued with the ongoing ill-effects of their childhood that others seem prey too. These people have a naturally high level of resilience as part of their character. They may experience adversity and failure in adulthood, as everyone does, but they apparently cannot be kept down – they keep rebounding into success.
Celebrities who come to mind when I think of resilience include Oprah Winfrey and Donald Trump, who went bankrupt several times but remade his fortune each time. I am sure you can think of a few people like this in your own lives.
Learning Resilience
While you may not have been born with a natural tendency towards resilience, you can learn it. That is the probably one of the most life-changing pieces of information you will ever have. Resilience can be taught and it can be learnt. Learning to engage in optimistic thinking will teach you to be resilient.
When you are resilient you will realize that the problem is only temporary, that it will be solved and that you will feel good again. You will realize that problems are just challenges that always have some kind of resolution. You will view life in a balanced way and rarely be prone to depression. You will bounce back quickly from adversity and be happier overall. You will treat everyday challenges as minor setbacks, rather than feeling overwhelmed by problems. You will develop greater self-confidence and a bright attitude towards your future.
The effects of low resilience
Have you ever spilt your coffee in the morning and thought that was an omen that you would have a really bad day? And then you went on to have a bad day? The truth is that spilling your coffee is just one little adversity and objectively you realize that it is not an sign of anything except maybe a little clumsiness. So then how is it that you ended up having a bad day?
Well, two reasons – one is the fact that pessimistic thinking changes your outcome for the worse as explained fully in the article on Optimism vs. Pessimism. For example if you arrive at the office expecting to have a bad day, you will unknowingly display an irritable, defensive demeanor. People, realizing that you are not in a good mood, will avoid you – will avoid sharing any anecdotes that might lighten your mood, will avoid smiling with you and so on. So thinking it predicts it – you create your bad day.
The other reason that you had a bad day was perception. When you expect to have a bad day, you automatically only notice the negative things that happen, and ignore the positive. Yes, you may have gotten several red lights on your way to work, but you also got several green ones. You friend may have gotten angry with you, but then she called to apologize and you shared a laugh. When you expect the negative all you notice is the negative.
The effects of high resilience
When you practice optimism and develop resilience, you will realize that spilling your coffee is just a minor adversity and not a predictor of your day. You will proceed with your day expecting it to have some positive events in it and some negative.
Resilient people believe that they are in control of some aspects of the situation and can facilitate a more positive outcome. They view mistakes as opportunities for learning. They embrace change as an opportunity for growth.
Resilience is knowing that everyday adversity is not final, and there will be happiness again. If you want to have a more contented, satisfying, cheerful, enjoyable life, it is well worth your while to learn to be optimistic and resilient.
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Related Articles:
- How to become an Optimist - Part I
- How to become an Optimist Part II: Disputing Pessimistic Beliefs
- How to become an Optimist Part III: Avoid Thinking Errors
- How to be Happy - Training yourself to enjoy life
- The Power of Realistic Positive Thinking
- Your Capacity for Change
- Optimism vs. Pessimism
- The Different Explanatory Styles of Optimism and Pessimism
- Coping with Stress - Part I
- How to Fight Depression Naturally
- Seeking out Mentors
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