Leading a Deliberate Conscious Life

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“The best way to predict the future is to invent it.” - Alan Kay

What if I told you that you could choose your future right now? You could imagine anything you want to have, and be, and it could happen? Would you say that I am crazy? Would you ask to see my magic wand? Would you say I am full of hogwash? Well you would be right. I bet it surprised you that I would agree. But certainly there are some things that are outside our locus of control.If you are 65 years old and dream of being 25 again, barring future technological miracles, chances are that dream will remain unrealized.

But what if I told you that you could significantly improve your life, and achieve most of the dreams that you now think are impossible? Would you still scoff? How much improved you might ask? Well I suggest at least 50% better. In some cases up to a 100% better! Yes, it is possible. I know because I am living proof. Oh, I don’t have one of those rags to riches stories. I never lived in my car or begged for food, but I did drop out of university, have a couple major failed relationships, chose the wrong career (several times over), ended up very close to broke and am still making some mistakes even now. But the point is that my life is close to 100% better than it was ten years ago. Dreams that I thought were impossible for me have been realized. More is possible than you think - much much more.

What makes the difference is choosing to lead a deliberate conscious life. No matter the limitations of your physical circumstances you can live the life that you choose to live. In fact, you already are. But your choice may have been to let others choose for you, rather than you making a deliberate conscious choice of your own.

The Importance of Being Deliberate

Choosing to lead a deliberate conscious life has two parts to it. The first part is the “deliberate” part. This may seem obvious but trust me, its not. Many people seem to ‘fall’ into relationships, ‘happen’ into careers, drift along on a certain path because of convenience and accident. They are propelled into a particular channel of life just by the outside external forces pushing and shoving against them, whether it is their parents’ wishes, their friends’ influence, a desire not to rock the boat, the easiest available opportunities, or that they just happened to be in that spot at that time. And because they had no deliberate conscious idea of what they wanted they just got pushed right along by what other people or circumstances dictated.

How did you get where you are now?

Did you always want to have the job you have now? The relationship you have now? Do you like the financial situation you are in now? Do you know how you came to be have 4.2 children? (Just checking to make sure you are paying attention). Was that an active choice? Did you ever sit down and figure out what it is you wanted in a job? In a life partner? In a relationship? From your friends? From your life? What is it that will give you happiness and fulfillment? Do you know? How will you know if you don’t give it some serious thought?

Deciding What You Want

The first step in success and self-development is having goals. We must know where we want to go in order to map out a course to get there. We must have large goals and small ones. Do you want to be an astronaut, a rocket scientist, a teacher, a swimmer, a racecar driver, a doctor, a president? Decide. I am not just talking to the young people who are now choosing their career for the first time. I am talking to those who are already in careers now. Is your career the one you want? Are you an accountant who secretly yearns to be a florist? Or a florist who secretly yearns to be an artist? Or maybe you are satisfied with your career but would like to be in a different branch of it. Would you prefer to be a researcher scientist rather than a lecturer? Would you prefer to be selling the product rather than making it? Or perhaps you would simply like to tweak your career and get different things out of it than you are getting now? Perhaps you would prefer to spend less time at the office and more time working from home. Or maybe you find your caseload is too light and you would like to be challenged more.

Whatever it is, only you can decide. But you must make a deliberate choice. You must think about it seriously. Whether it is your career, your relationship, your finances, your health, your recreational time, your spiritual enlightenment. What is your vision of your ideal career? What is your vision of your ideal relationship? What is your ideal fitness level? What financial situation would you like? How would you best like to spend your recreational time? Where would you like to be spiritually?

You must identify what are the most important areas of your life and what is your ideal vision for those areas. You must be detailed and specific. Don’t say “I want to lose some weight.” Say “I want to lose 10 pounds.” . Don’t say “I want to have a better relationship”. Identify exactly what you want to improve in your relationship. Do you want to have more constructive arguments? Do you want to have more snuggle time? Do you want to go out more? How often? Once a week? Twice? Three times? Do the same with all the areas of you life. This is your life. What do you want from it? Choose.

An Example

When I exited from my last failed relationship, I sat down and wrote out a list of what I wanted in my ideal mate. Then I identified those characteristics that were absolutely essential and those that were optional. I honed this list many times over the next six months. Initially when I sat down to do this I had some difficulty just plucking characteristics from the air. But then I started to examine my past relationships and deduced from those the qualities I liked in a mate and the ones I did not like. That was neither a pleasant nor an easy task. But it was well worth it. Once I started to date again, I had a list of qualities to guide me right up front to find out if this person was well suited to me or not. Dishonest? Nope, forget it. Close-minded? Uh uh. Felt that good hygiene was optional? Next! And finally I did find someone who fulfilled my requirements (or most of them ) and we are very well suited to each other, busily making plans to get married and live happily ever after. (which by the way can be done with some thought and effort – See the articles in the Relationship section). But it all started with making a deliberate choice about what I wanted in a mate and a relationship.

The series on Achieving Your Goals starts off by indicating how to set goals and therefore Be Deliberate about what you want to achieve in life, rather than coasting along wherever the tide takes you. The important point to note here is that you must take the time to think about and decide what you want in life, and in the different spheres of your life. You may revise these goals many times over as you have new experiences and your life changes. That’s fine, as long as you have some concrete deliberate idea where you want to be. However, making a deliberate choice about your life is of use only if you are constantly conscious of it.

The Importance of Being Conscious

So you take your time, expend lots of energy to take a long hard look at your life and decide what you want from it and where you want to be. You make a nice list of goals….and promptly put it in your desk drawer and proceed to forget about it. Well, as we agreed, neither of us are magicians, so just making the list and forgetting it wont help you much. This brings us to the second part of choosing to lead a deliberate conscious life. The Conscious part. You need to be conscious of your goals always. You need to review your goals daily. This may seem extraneous but in actual fact it will only take you a few minutes a day. I actually have a file on my computer listing my goals. That file opens on starting the computer and I keep it open all day, and periodically glance at it to refresh my memory. If you don’t work on a computer, you can write it up on an index card and keep it on your desk or fold it into a paper and put it in your wallet, and have a glance at every time you go to buy something (this can be very helpful if your goal is to spend less).

How to be conscious of your goals

There are several ways to keep conscious of your goals. Write them down first thing each morning on a sheet. Don’t just read them. But write them down. The act of writing them commits them more firmly into memory. Consider what actions you are going to take that day towards achieving them. At the end of each day, review your goals and what you have done towards achieving them. If you have done nothing, then give some serious thought to what you could have done and what you will do the next day towards achieving them.

Place visual reminders in your environment to bring your attention back to your goals several times throughout the day. If you want to lose weight, place on your desk a picture of person with the body you are working towards having. If your goal is to get your doctorate, get a little plaque made with your name and a PhD behind it. Be creative. The idea is to have many items in your view that keeps your goal present in your mind as often as possible.

The Series on Achieving Your Goals explores more fully these and other techniques for remaining constantly conscious of your goals.

Why be conscious of your goals?

So what’s the point of this? What’s the point of knowing your goals and keeping them in the forefront of your mind? What’s the point of being conscious of your goals? Well you make decisions every day; big ones and small ones. These decisions are what determine the life that you have. Let me say that again: The decisions you make every single day determine the life that you have and the happiness you have. You make those decisions based on the information you have. And your goals are a vital piece of information that informs your decisions.

For instance, consider that you are offered a piece of chocolate cake at the office. If your goal is to eat healthier and lose 10 pounds, then that information will be present in your conscious mind and will help you choose to eat it or not eat it. Previously before you had made a deliberate decision to lose 10 pounds you would have mindlessly eaten it and reflected negatively on your weight later on. But now you have made a deliberate choice, and you are conscious of it, so you can simply choose to abstain from that cake because that is in keeping with your goals. Making a conscious decision to support your goal like this will not only make you feel proud and empowered but it is also the route to achieve your goals. It is the way to take charge of your life and steer it in the course you want it to go. It is how you control your destiny and your happiness.

One decision at a time

Goals are achieved one day at a time, one decision at a time. When you make your goals, you will make a list of the things you need to do to achieve them. See the series on Achieving Your Goals for methods to ensure that you achieve your goals. To give a quick introduction, it is like traveling to a destination. You identify your destination (the goal), then you plot out a route to get there. This route is the list of steps you need to take and things you need to do to achieve your goal. Then you get in the car, and start driving. This is akin to putting those steps into action. And you must make the choice every single day to do what it takes to achieve your goals. This is why it is essential that you are constantly conscious of your goals. So that in every decision you make you can ask yourself “Will this help me to achieve my goals?”, “Is this in keeping what I want to achieve?”, “Is what I am doing right now helping or hindering achievement of my goal?”.

Being conscious of your goals helps you to achieve your goals one decision at a time, one day at a time.

Remember that the easiest, most convenient choice is not often the right one. Be deliberate about what you want from life. Be conscious of what you want to achieve. Make all your decisions deliberately, and consciously.

Lead a deliberate conscious life and you will be able to significantly improve your life and live the life you really want.

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Related Articles:

• Achieving Your Goals Part I - Goal Identification
• Achieving Your Goals Part II - Form a Goal Plan
• Achieving Your Goals Part III - Make a Commitment
• Achieving Your Goals Part IV - Staying Motivated
• Achieving Your Goals Part V - Change Your Environment
• Achieving Your Goals Part VI - Change Your Thinking
• Achieving Your Goals Part VII - Discipline and Vocabulary
• How to become an Optimist - Part I
• How to Fight Depression Naturally
• Seeking out Mentors

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This entry was posted on Thursday, June 22nd, 2006 at 9:16 pm and is filed under A New Start, Choices, Depression . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.